Sexting and sending nudes

Received a pic on your phone? Been asked to send a nude? Written a flirty text? If someone uses their phone (or other device) to send sexually explicit messages, photos or videos to someone else, it’s known as sexting.

But why do people share nudes? What should you do if you receive an unwanted pic? And what if things go wrong? Find out everything you need to know below. 

Why do people send nudes?  

Sometimes flirty, sometimes sexual, there are loads of legit reasons why people send nudes. Some people do it as a way of being intimate or for sexual enjoyment.

Others use nudes to flirt or have fun. Whatever the reason, both the person sending the image and the person receiving it should feel comfortable and give their consent.

Things to think about before sending nudes 

If you’re thinking about sharing a nude, there are a few things you should ask yourself before pressing send: 

• Why do you want to share nudes?  

• Do you feel uncomfortable or pressured?  

• Has the person you’re sending the image to consented to receiving it? 

• How would you feel if your images were shared?  

It might be scary to think about, but once you have sent an image to someone else you no longer have control of it.  

You might trust that someone won’t share your private images, but it can and does happen. Even disappearing photos can be screenshotted and saved.  

Is sexting or sending nudes illegal? 

It’s illegal to create or share naked images or videos of someone under 18 – including AI-generated images. It’s also against the law to send a sexual image or video to someone under 18.  

But the law is meant to protect young people from harm. If someone has shared an image of you without your consent – or sent you an image you’ve not asked for – it’s not your fault and you haven’t done anything wrong. If you’re worried, you can talk to Childline. 

Feeling pressured or out of control 

Sending or receiving messages, images or videos should feel good. Like the fun butterflies you get in your stomach when you see someone you really like. You should never feel uncomfortable.  

Consent is key. Always get, and give, consent for sharing nudes. Even if you’re in a relationship with the person.  

Sometimes, someone you’ve met online might ask you for pictures. Or maybe a friend or your partner is making you feel pressured to send nudes.  

If you feel pressured, uncomfortable or out of control, this isn’t ok.  

If something doesn’t feel right, then it probably isn’t. Find out more about the signs of an unhealthy relationship.

If you need help, you should talk to a trusted adult.  

It’s ok to say no.

If you’ve been asked to share an image and you don’t want to, it’s ok to say no. 

No-one should ever make you feel that you have to share nudes. Even if you’re comfortable with sending sexual messages, that doesn’t mean you have to send naked pictures. And if you’ve sent images before, that doesn’t mean you have to keep doing it.  

If you’re in a relationship with the person asking, explain you don’t feel comfortable. In a healthy relationship, they will respect and care about how you feel.  

If you don’t know the person you can ignore, block and report them.  

If you’ve already sent a nude, but have now changed your mind, ask the person to delete it. If you’re worried, ask an adult you trust for help.

Dealing with unsolicited nudes 

Sometimes you might receive nudes that you haven’t asked for. These are called “unsolicited” images or messages. You might also hear people talk about receiving “dick pics”.  

Whether someone has been sliding into your DMs, or shown you something on their phone, it can feel shocking, scary, confusing, humiliating or embarrassing to see an image you weren’t expecting.  

And it’s not ok. Sharing unsolicited nudes (or ‘cyberflashing’) is unacceptable – and it’s a crime. It’s a type of sexual harassment and can be distressing and intimidating.  

If it happens to you, block the sender and speak to a trusted adult. You can also report it to the social media platform or website.

When things go wrong 

Even if you’re in a healthy relationship, there are always risks when sexting and sharing nudes.  

You might not think someone would use your images against you, but it can happen to anyone. Whatever your age, gender, sexuality or background –  and even if you were happy to share.  

It can feel really scary. But it’s never your fault. And help is available. 

If someone is blackmailing you 

If someone is blackmailing you to send images, or give them money to stop them sharing images you’ve sent, this is sextortion. Don’t reply – and don’t send more images or money, whatever they say.

Instead, talk to a trusted adult. You might be worried about talking about what’s happened, especially if you’re being threatened not to tell anyone. But it’s important you get support. And it might help you feel more in control. 

An adult can help you report what’s happened and with how you’re feeling.  

The IWF has more information about sextortion and how you can get help on their website.  

If someone posted a picture of you without permission 

If intimate images are shared without the permission of the person in the image, it’s called non-consensual image sharing or image-based abuse. It can happen in a group chat, on social media or other public websites.  

It doesn’t matter how or where images are shared, it’s a form of intimate image abuse – sometimes called ‘revenge porn’. 

Even if you shared the image in the first place, it’s never your fault. Don’t blame yourself. The person who has shared the image is in the wrong.  

What to do 

If intimate images of you, or someone you know, are shared, or you are being blackmailed, you can: 

• Report it. If the image is shared on social media, report it to the social media platform who will take down the image straightaway. You can also report nude images of people under 18 to CEOP.  

• Tell a trusted adult. You are not alone. Speak to an adult you trust like a family member or teacher and tell them what’s happened. If you don’t want to talk to someone you know, you could contact Childline.  

• Use Report Remove. You can confidentially report images using Childline and IWF’s Report Remove tool, which can help get it removed from the internet.