If they are abusive, it’s likely that they’ll use excuses to justify their hurtful behaviour. This might make you start doubting whether your concerns about your relationship are valid. Heard any of these before?
• “I was having a bad day.”
• “It’s normal to be jealous, it just means I love you.”
• “It’s your fault, you upset me,” or, “You made me angry.”
• “It only happened once. It won’t happen again.”
• “You deserved it.”
• “I was drunk,” or, “I was high.”
• “It’s not my fault, I’m messed up.”
• “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
These are signs of an unhealthy or abusive relationship. There is no excuse for abuse. You don’t deserve it, and it must not be tolerated. If you’ve heard some of these and are wondering what it means, try our questions to help recognise if you are with someone abusive.
Read more about gaslighting.