Sending nudes and sexting 

Whether you’re sexting to be flirty and fun, or sharing nudes to get intimate in a relationship, safety and consent is key.  

That means everyone should feel comfortable, safe, and consent to sending or receiving images.  

Remember, if something doesn’t feel right then it probably isn’t.  

Before you hit send 

Before you take that mirror selfie or hit send make sure you’re happy to share your images.  

Just like with everything else about sex and relationships, you should never feel uncomfortable with anything you’re doing or being asked to do.  

And consent is key. Whether you’re in a situationship, committed relationship or are flirting with someone online, it’s always ok to say no.  Consent can be withdrawn at any time. If one of you says no, you should stop.

Before sending that pic, think about think about why you want to share nudes and whether the person you’re sending pics to consented to receiving them.

Talk to them about what you’re ok with, and what you’re not. Do you want them to delete images after a certain amount of time – and what happens if you break up? Have they, or would they ever, share images with other people?

You might also want to put some rules in place about what you share. Like, no faces or avoid snapping tattoos or other distinctive features. Make sure your location is turned off, and your background isn’t identifiable. 

When you’ve sent images

Once you’ve sent your images to someone else, you no longer have control over them. DMs can be saved and disappearing messages screenshotted.

You might not think your images will be shared, especially if you trust the person you are sending it to. We should all feel safe to share like this, as long as everyone has consented. But image-based abuse can, and does, happen. And if it happens to you, remember: it’s never your fault. You haven’t done anything wrong.

If you feel worried about something you’ve already shared, or you don’t feel safe, help is available.

If you change your mind 

Just because you’ve sent someone nudes, doesn’t mean you have to keep sending them. And it’s fine to ask for images to be deleted. Consent isn’t a one-time thing. It’s ok to change your mind.  

Sexting, sending nudes and the law 

If you’re over 18, are sharing an image or video of yourself and you’ve both consented – then there’s no problem.  

But you should never feel pressured to send nudes. And it’s illegal to create or share images of someone under 18, or send them a sexual image or video (including AI-generated images). It doesn’t matter whether someone else has sent you the image, if you share it then this is a criminal offence.  

What to do if you receive unsolicited images  

Nudes you want to receive are exciting. ‘Dick pics’ sliding into your DMs can be shocking, embarrassing, even intimidating. It’s harassment. It’s illegal. And you don’t have to put up with it.  

If you receive an unsolicited image, block the sender. Report it. And talk to someone. 

‘Revenge porn’ and intimate image abuse 

If your images are shared without your permission, it’s called ‘non-consensual image sharing’. It’s a type of intimate image abuse – also known as ‘revenge porn’. Even if you were originally happy to share the image, your pics should stay private.  

If someone takes, or threatens to share, private sexual images without your consent this is also intimate image abuse.   

It’s important to remember that you are not alone and that it’s never your fault.  

If someone has shared your images without your consent, the Revenge Porn Helpline is there to support anyone over the age of 18 who has experienced intimate image abuse.  

If your images have been shared on social media, report this to the relevant platform.  

You can also use the free StopNCII tool to help detect and remove the images from being shared online. 

Blackmail and sextortion 

Sextortion is when someone threatens to share sexual images, videos or information about you, unless you do something like give them money, send more images or perform other sexual acts. It’s a type of blackmail or criminal exploitation. 

It can happen to anyone. It’s never your fault. And help is available.  

Don’t meet their demands. There is no guarantee the person will stop, and the blackmail or threats may get even worse. 

First, stop all communication with them. Then block and report them.  

Confide in someone you trust. Talking about what’s happening can help you get support and feel more in control. If you don’t want to tell friends and family, you can call the Revenge Porn Helpline.

Recovering from image-based abuse 

If you’ve been affected by image-based abuse, make sure you get support. Bloom’s course ‘Image-based abuse and rebuilding ourselves’ can help you learn tools for processing your emotions, understand your responses and heal from trauma.