Online relationships and dating 

Maybe you’ve met someone you really like on social media, a new crush has slid into your DMs or you’re looking for love on dating apps. However, you do it, connecting with new people online can be fun and exciting.  

But just like in real life, you should make sure your online relationships are healthy. And there are some extra steps you should take to keep yourself safe. Find out what you need to know below. 

What you need to know before you start online dating 

Online is a great way to meet new people. It can be easier to chat without the pressure of face-to-face. And you can be whoever you want to be. But so can everyone else. And that means not everyone you meet online will be who they say they are. Even if you really like someone you should be careful what you share.  

Don’t tell someone you’ve just met anything that can identify you in real life. That’s things like your full name, where you live and where you go to school. They should respect your choice and shouldn’t make you feel uncomfortable, pressured or threatened in any way.

You can also meet people online that you might not otherwise meet, such as people who come from different backgrounds or have different life experiences. That can be a good thing – understanding other people’s views and experiences is important to help us build empathy.  

But sometimes you’ll meet people who don’t have good intentions. That includes people who are older than you, even if they don’t tell you that to start with. Some people will use an age gap or other imbalance of power in a relationship as a way of controlling their partner. 

Remember, trust your instincts. If something doesn’t feel right then it probably isn’t. 

And, if you’re worried, talk to a trusted adult about what’s going on.  

Meeting up 

So, things have been going great and you want to meet up irl. When making plans, make sure you:  

• take a friend of family member with you.
• don’t travel with the person you’re meeting up with – make your own way there and back.
• meet in a public place, where there are lots of other people around.
• tell someone, ideally an adult you trust, where you are going and how long you’ll be, and keep them updated if this changes.
• trust your gut. If something feels off, it’s ok to leave early.

If someone suggests meeting up in secret, or somewhere that isn’t public, this can be a sign that something isn’t right. Never meet someone in private, whatever reason they give. If you meet up and they suggest going somewhere else, like their place, it’s ok to say no. Your safety is more important than being polite.  

When something isn’t right 

It can be scary to think about, but not everyone online is there for good reasons. And some people just aren’t nice. Or, they might seem nice to start with and then become abusive.  

Sometimes people online pretend to be someone else by using a fake profile or identity to deceive, scam or control others. This is known as catfishing. 

Other people might pretend to be your friend to trick you into doing something, like sharing sexual images or doing something illegal.  

Anyone can be catfished or groomed online. It’s never your fault, and it can be really upsetting. 

Some people also use online spaces and social media to groom people. This is when someone builds a friendship or a relationship with you and creates trust, so that they can manipulate you. You can be groomed online by someone you know or by a stranger. Childline has more information about online grooming and signs to look out for.  

What warning signs should you look out for? 

If something, or someone, sounds too good to be true it often is. If you’re worried someone isn’t who they say they are, think about the following: 

• Have they shared an image of themselves? If they have, do an image search to check the name matches. If it doesn’t, they may be using a fake profile. 

• Do they have many friends or followers? Not everyone can be an influencer. But if they have a very low number of likes or follows, they don’t post much or they’re rarely tagged, it can be a sign that something isn’t right. 

• How much do they already know about you? If someone knows a lot about you, that you haven’t told them, it might be because they’ve checked out your digital footprint. Knowing things that you like, or do, can help someone build a fake relationship with you. 

• Are they taking things really fast? If they’ve said ‘I love you’ when you’ve only just started talking or are pressuring you to do something sexual when you’ve just met, this can be a red flag.   

• Do they ask you to keep secrets? Not all secrets are bad. But groomers can use secrets as a way of building trust or because something isn’t ok. 

If something doesn’t feel right, trust your instincts.  

What to do if you’re worried 

If you’re worried about someone you’ve met online or something they’ve asked you to do, speak to a trusted adult.  

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